Welcome to the Neekeorological Society!
We’ll have you pickling things in jars in no time!

Your particulars have been meticulously noted and filed away with the utmost precision under the wheel of camembert cheese in the safe behind the painting of The Eiffel Tower by some chap called, erm… Georges Sewer-Rat.

A specially selected carrier pigeon, equipped with the finest navigation system the 1930s has to offer (an A-Z London Street Atlas), is soaring towards your inbox as we speak.

PS. Remember to check your correspondence and await further instructions in the mail…